“The nurse looked at my sister and
asked; “Where are your parents?” “At
the shamba” She answered. “Can you tell them to come to the hospital tomorrow?”
the nurse added. My sister had to explain how our family functions: “Dad works
at around 150km from here and mom at around 60km, both in the forest where only
feet and a bike can go. We use letters to communicate and it takes at least a
month to send a letter and receive feedback. I wrote to them two days ago about
his illness”. I could see the pain in my sister’s and the nurse’s eyes and I
could not understand why. For me, it was normal to be malnourished, to have
malaria. Jiggers in my toes were no longer painful. I was 9 years old but I
looked like a 6 year old, I could believe what the nurse said because of my
weight. I was in class 4 but had to spend so many days at home because of
illnesses. The following years, we fled
the city because of war and found refuge in the forest. We were so many families;
some of the parents were teachers. They started a school in shanties and
admitted all the IDP’s children. I joined class 5. We were 11 in our class.
Those who were younger did not survive malaria, which was a pandemic in the
region. Those of us who survived several malaria crises suffered also the
consequences of water born diseases. If diarrhea could leave signs at its
passage, my arse would have uncountable tattoos. I do not consider it as a
story but as part of my life with non-reversible consequences. I remember it whenever
I make some grammatical mistakes. Every new skill I learn reveals gaps that
were to be covered in primary school. How I wish I had the magical power to
unlearn every bad reflex I developed.
Unfortunately, 20 years later, children
in conflict zones are still going through all this and I wonder how their
future will look like. Think about those children. One may become the president
of this country tomorrow. The one who may not have the chance to prosper
because of poor skills may end up becoming a terrorist and pour all the anger
on your well-educated grandchildren. Quality education for all is the best
investments in sustainable peace and development.”
My statement was about to end. Men and
women in the hall were on their feet. Some were tearing, I also cried when I
saw their reaction but felt a sense of relief when they promised to fund the
project. They invited me for dinner in the VIP lounge. I sat by a man who told
me he was ready to adopt five of the children, especially boys and send them to
the best school in his country. “Unfortunately we do not give children up for
adoption, we just help them access quality education while in their family of
origin”; I explained. He regretted and told me something I was not expecting:
“I wish I had a son who could make me proud. I have three children, all girls.
The idea of seeing them going with a useless man after I have invested in their
education saddens me. I am giving them the basic education, in ordinary
schools. I do not care if they do not go to university. They will get married
anyway and in my culture, once married that is it. They don’t need astrology to
make kids for someone I didn’t know in the first place”.
My opinion did not count for his
neighbor who asked the man to give him one of the girls: “I wish I had girls. Unfortunately,
I have two boys only. My first-born might be 19 now but I do not know where he
is. My wife was suspecting something weird when the boy was a teenager. We did
not know what it was. When he finished secondary school, we obliged him to tell
us the truth, threatening of not sending him to college if he refused. You know
what he told me. “Daddy, I am gay. I didn’t tell you because I was not proud of
it but I have understood that there is nothing I can do about it.” It was the
worst evening of my life. He was an A
student but I hated him since that very day. I did not want him to go to
college because he was a shame to the family. He told me that he wanted to
become a lawyer and venture into politics after. My eyes could not stand his
presence. I knew he was smart, disciplined, logic and hardworking. He had a
very good memory and was always willing to help. He was full of good ideas, he
had dreams but I could not project my son in the future becoming a very popular
gay lawyer who advocates for the rights of all those sissy men who put make up
and shake bum bums in public. I chased him away, though I regret my decision.
After all, he is my son only that I had never imagined that my own son, whom I
gave my name would become gay and disgrace me. I do not know if he is still
alive but I have decided that I will give to a charity organization the money I
had invested for his university education. Here is my business card; I’ll fund
your project”.
I was speechless. I used to talk about
poverty, conflicts and poor education infrastructures as the main obstacles to
accessing quality education. That is what I knew, that is what I experienced in
my own country. I did not know that discrimination was silently killing dreams.
I could imagine these young girls hugging a father who has decided not to send
them to good schools simply because they were born girls in a society where
marriage is the final destination of a woman. “They are innocent. They do not
know what quality education is, what discrimination means. What about their
mother? Probably she is a homemaker who knows nothing about dreaming beyond
marriage”, I said to myself. Then I imagined that young man, chased away from
his home and being denied education because of what he feels. At first, I fell in
the trap of judgement; “this one chose his plight” then I wondered why such an
amazing intelligent son would choose to be chased away from home and put an end
to his dreams. I was ashamed of my first thought and wished I could help him. I
feared that he may have ended up in hands of men who took advantage of his
vulnerability to exploit him emotionally and sexually, infecting him with HIV.
I feared that he may have looked for other parents and could not find someone
who would love him like his own parents. I feared that he might have ended up in
a criminal gang that is using his intelligence and the anger he had for his
family and the community that rejected him, to kill innocent people. I feared
that he may have been so desperate that he had committed suicide. My head was
too loaded with thoughts that I needed to refresh it by washing my face. I
excused myself to my interlocutors and rushed to the gents.
When I came back, I saw a woman waiting
in the lobby. She smiled and asked if she was allowed to ask something. I did
not understand what she meant until she told me that she is one of the
interpreters in the booths upstairs and they are not supposed to comment or ask
questions to guests without their permission. “Go on lady”, I uttered as a picked
a glass of water from the waiter. “My
son is an albino. He is my only son, my life, my future. I have invested in his
education. I want him to get the best education and unlock his potential. He is
so talented but he dropped out last year because he could not cope with the
bullying and discrimination in his school. I met the principal not once but…I
needed support from my fellow parents but I could not get it. In my country,
people are very individualistic. When a problem does not affect them directly,
no one cares. I need more information about the exchange program you talked
about. I am also willing to support four children like him, in order to give
them a chance to access quality education and unlock their potential.” The
chairlady came to me, asking if I was ready to give a closing remark after the
dinner. “With pleasure!” I said as I gave my business card to the woman. “Let
us have a conversation after this conference, and if possible put me in contact
with your son”.
From the tribune I could see the people
I met, who pledged funds for the project even if they did not care about their
own for various reasons. The organizers thought I would be happy because we
received pledges beyond our expectations. By contrast, I was shocked, in pain
and sad. I looked at the audience and said; “Thank you for your support to the
quality education for all project. Children are gifts from God. They have
talents to nurture and a tremendous potential to unlock. They come to this
world with their particularities but deserve the same care, the same love and
the same treatment. Obviously, we need updated curricula, good schools and good
teachers to unlock their potential. Let us give them the right to dream and the
opportunity to achieve their dreams irrespective of who they are, where they
live and where they come from. Let us give a
chance
to all children, starting in our families. Thank you.”

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As Lupita once said, "No matter where you are from your dreams are valid." but we need to do more than just tell kids that their dreams are valid. We need to empower them to dream. To believe in their dreams & one way to do that is what as you said, "investing in a better curricula, good schools & good teachers."
ReplyDeleteAlways a goodbye read! 👏👏
Well said. Children's dreams are valid no matter where they come from, provide that we invest in making them a reality. Thank you for your contribution, Carlondu
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